Reinforce Good Behavior Without Enforcing Timeout: Here’s What You Do

Reinforce Good Behavior Without Enforcing Timeout: Here’s What You Do - The California Beach Co.

The California Beach Co. wants to clear the air on an important topic. 

The concept of playpens is not exactly loved by all parents. Many of these products are designed to simply keep your child contained, and can sometimes be uncomfortable, restricting, or embarrassing. These structures have also gained a bad reputation for often being a place of punishment. In some instances, the word “play” may be more aptly replaced with “timeout.” 

However, the Pop ‘N Go ® Playpen is sooo not that kind of playpen! This product is designed to benefit the whole family. The Pop ‘N Go encourages exploration, creativity, and FUN while creating a safe environment under supervision. 

Timeout and other kinds of punishments should be avoided if possible. To do so, try out these methods that reinforce positive behavior. The California Beach Co. turned the concepts of playpens around — you can do the same with your parenting style!

Connection Conquers All

Yea, timeouts may “work,” but they’re only effective in the moment. In fact, this type of punishment will actually cause more damage in the long-term. Timeouts creating a physical and emotional separation between you and your child. This can be devastating for a young child, and will likely invoke feelings of fear or insecurity around your relationship. Are those results worth the five minutes of quiet you may gain from a timeout? We think not. 

It’s simple, but true — connection conquers all. When your child acts out, seek to understand them, and comfort them. Showing love doesn’t necessarily mean you condone your child’s actions; it shows that you’re there to help in hard situations. Correcting behaviors is most effectively done when your child feels safe and supported. 

How About a “Time In?”

Inviting yourself to your child’s timeout changes the concept completely. Although the two may seem like one and the same, a “time in” takes isolation out of the equation. 

To practice this mode of parenting, take a few minutes to sit privately and quietly with your kid the next time he or she practices bad behavior. Encourage them to voice and unpack their feelings in a way that’s open and honest. They’ll feel the relief that comes with expressing one’s self, and you’ll be able to calmly formulate a solution together. 

Get to the Root of Your Rules

It’s easy to forget that children’s attention spans, general understanding of the world, and the ability to retain information are vastly different than ours. So, the next time you find yourself frustrated that your child isn’t following your expectations, ask yourself — what’s really the problem?

Parents are prone to their own anxiety-ridden temper tantrums when their children aren’t living up to preconceived expectations, or what society deems acceptable. Parents want to be one step ahead of the curb; if we aren’t able to predict the future, then we don’t feel safe. Unfortunately, that feeling of worry is never going away — it’s part of being a parent. 

Allow your kid to make mistakes, learn the hard way, embrace their wild nature, and grow organically. It’s okay to pick your battles — as long as you address the important ones, the rest will figure itself out in good time. 

Words to Remember

There are a few simple words to remember: connection, expression, and expectation. Create a strong foundation of connection, allow for shame-free expression, and continually question your expectations. Doing these three things alone will greatly impact your abilities as a parent and hopefully, keep everyone in the household on good behavior.